I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.
You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.
I don't want to talk about anything with you except Star Trek Into Darkness.
I just want to take a moment to thank all of my followers for, uh, following me and putting up with my oversharing and weird attempts at humor.
I especially want to thank all the sex spambots who have started following me in the last week. You’ve opened my eyes up to a larger world. Of course, I’ve immediately closed them and reverted to my world of fantasy where I am safe and everyone cares about Tom Hiddleston eating potato chips as much as I do.
But thank you. I am honored you choose to randomly follow me and creep me out with your bizarre usernames and avatars. Thank you.
Thank you for giving me this expense report two hours before I go on vacation.