I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.
You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (McSweeney's, The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.
Life's weird, right?
I have not seen the film, One Day, but I tried to read the book earlier this year. I couldn’t get past the first few chapters because it felt like I was reading an idealized version of how miserable my (love) life was before I was 25. Needless to say, I have had a Dex (three of them actually, but if you put them together, you build an actual Dex), and I was very, very Emma (but American). Reading this analysis of the film is terrifying because it makes me see very clearly a pattern of behavior I was engaging in and how it would have progressed had I not realized that I deserve to be loved well. The other terrifying thing is I think a lot of my notions about romance and what was normal have been—or were—defined by this genre of literature and film, and it pains me to think that we still romanticize the idea that pining for an asshole is okay because maybe one day the asshole will grow up and realize how awesome you are.
If ever you find yourself in a one-sided love, kill it. Kill it with fire. It’s not love; it’s fantasy. I can say this because I have had to do it (more than once), and because I did it, I’ve been able find myself in healthy relationships with guys who are not assholes. The guys who were assholes are still assholes and they still don’t see how awesome I am. Most importantly, my life has been a lot happier now that I don’t cater to assholes and everyone deserves to be happy.