I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.
You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.
I don't want to talk about anything with you except Star Trek Into Darkness.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
I just plopped. I don’t really know what that made-up word means, but I’m pretty sure it applies here.
NOW KISS.
(Source: cloysterbell)
Regarding Winston Churchill’s…er…conception
There are rumors too that he was conceived before his parents were married, right
Yeah. He was born eight months (some sources say seven?? I’m too lazy to do math) after the wedding. At the time, they said he was premature, but given her later sexual escapades (she really liked sex, okay?) people think the relationship was consummated before the wedding. Both of his parents seem pretty liberal sexually. Lord Randolph Churchill was totally okay with Jennie having affairs with Dukes and Princes and Kings because it helped him politically. It’s also theorized that he had contracted syphilis shortly after Winston’s birth and so there’s a rumor that he cut off marital “relations” with Jennie and was fine with her getting hers elsewhere. Most people believe Winston’s brother Jack was the product of one of Jennie’s many affairs.
Some people still say Winston Churchill was premature. By and large, no historian doubts that Winston Churchill was legitimate. I mean, I’m sure there are a couple who think so, but it’s not really in question the same way his brother’s paternity is. It’s just a matter of whether he was conceived before or after the marriage.
When people gave Winston IRL shit about it, he is known to have remarked, “Although present on the occasion, I have no clear recollection of the events leading up to it.”
The Jennie Jerome wiki has a decent account of this. The syphilis story is from my mom, who read this massive biography on her, and if you check out Lord Randolph’s page it comes up, but there’s no definitive proof because no one back then would keep such records about someone that high ranking.
I was rewatching The King’s Speech a few days ago and there was this exchange that irked me. Basically Helena Bonham Carter’s young Queen Mum and Timothy Spall’s Winston Churchill are at Balmoral and they are gossiping about Wallis Simpson. Which is fine, except Churchill is all, “I can’t imagine what the King sees in this American woman!”
And I was like, Churchill would never not know what the King saw in a sophisticated and mesmerizing American divorcee because Churchill’s mother was JENNIE FUCKING JEROME.
I don’t know why more people aren’t completely obsessed by the fact that Winston Churchill’s mother was a hot Jewish heiress from Cobble Hill who basically seduced and carried on affairs with every important man in Britain in the late 19th/early 20th century. There is a popular rumor that she had a fucking snake tattoo around her wrist! She was BFFs with the wives of her lovers! She pretty much ignored Winston Churchill—who was obsessed with her—until he was like, 20, and then they were like buddies and she gave him political advice.
Like, how would Churchill not get the Wallis Simpson sitch when he was a social climbing American seductress’s son?
Anyway, I have a lot of Jennie Jerome feels and needed to take them to tumblr.
God, I wish there had been tumblr during the Borg/Locutus saga on Star Trek: TNG.
The internet would have EXPLODED. Right? Right?
AND LIKE, HOW MANY ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE MERITS OF COMMANDER SHELBY WOULD I HAVE GOTTEN INTO?
Okay, I finished Graceling yesterday and while I really liked it, I think I’m missing something? I liked it a lot, but I didn’t love it. The third act is paced so strangely.
That said, it’s one of the first books I’ve read in a while without an actual Hollywood cast attached to it, so my brain was forced to what my brain’s been doing since I was 9, and I cast actors in my head for some of the roles. Well, I cast “types”.
Like, for Katsa, I saw a brunette Imogen Poots type and for Po, I saw a Luke Pasqualino type. No one else made a real impact on my imagination. Maybe Colin Morgan for Raffin? Richard Madden for Giddon? Random character actor for Oll? WHO DID EVERYONE ELSE HAVE IN MIND?
Speaking of fantasy film adaptations that don’t exist, Kristen Cashmore’s writing reminded me of a much less weird Dianna Wynne Jones. WHEN WILL SOME AUTEUR TRY TO TACKLE THE CHRONICLES OF CHRESTOMANCI? I swear, if they ever do Charmed Life, Johnny Depp would devour the shit out of Chrestomanci. But The Many Lives of Christopher Chant is a much better first/stand alone film. That would be an amazing film for the next Gilliam or Del Toro or Peter Jackson to tackle for a small film company.
Okay, I’m done.
It’s just…I have no one to talk to in real life about this. At least until I get home.
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL I LOVE YOU TROLL TROLL
Doctor Who: The Great Detective (Christmas Special Prequel) - Children in Need 2012
Here it is! Matt and a friend host the prequel to the 2012 Doctor Who Christmas Special: The Great Detective
Donate to Children in Need here!
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN IS A BEAUTIFUL TROLL.
‘Doctor Who Christmas Special Prequel Is On The Way this Friday, November 16th
This Friday, November 16th, the BBC’s telethon Children In Need (that’s their mascot Pudsey the Bear in the tweed jacket there) will be showing the first teaser clip for this year’s Doctor Who Christmas Special. As is now traditional, the clip will comprise a little stand-alone story, unique to Children in Need, and act as a prequel for the Christmas Special (premiering Christmas Day on BBC AMERICA). There will also be a chance to see the Doctor and his new companion (played by Jenna-Louise Coleman) in the same room for the first time.
Needs moar Dara O’Briain and Jo Brand, but other than that, the next season of QI looks golden so far!
