I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.
You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.
I don't want to talk about anything with you except Star Trek Into Darkness.
…I think the romance in my soul has died because I was sort of with Anna until the part where she had the *SPOILER ALERT* and then Jude Law’s character did the *SPOILER ALERT* thing and offered to *SPOILER ALERT* and I was like, “You fucking moron, Anna, stay with bald Jude Law. Sure, he cracks his knuckles and puts on a weird old fashioned condom that he keeps in a crystal case, but great sex does not a great man make, and based on *SPOILER ALERT*, he’s a solid dude. YOU ARE A FUCKING MORPHINE CHUGGING MORON!”
In slightly less short:
I mean, there were some redeeming factors—notice the surviving train structure and Jesse Eisenberg. However, Gaby and I agreed the script is one decent movie idea*, two halfway decent sketch ideas**, and a bunch of lines about how pretty scenery we don’t see is and how adultery is GREAT all tossed together with great actors just to promote Italian tourism.
Please don’t see this movie. Watch Midnight in Paris again and/or book a ticket to Rome.
*The Older Man revisiting his youthful follies abroad as psychic projection of real time conscience (i.e. the Alec Baldwin-Jesse Eisenberg-Greta Gerwig-Ellen Page storyline).
**The opera singer in the shower and the famous for no reason gags.
Yesterday I watched The Big Chill (1983) for the first time and while I enjoyed the film and the actors’ performances, I was horrified by the massive issues in what I call “Wine Continuity”.
Spoiler alert! There are a lot of glasses of wine in this film, but hardly any of them are actually sipped from. In fact, in most scenes, wine glasses are everywhere, but with one exception that I noticed (Glenn Close’s glass in the living room scene where they talk about their friend’s suicide is empty), all of the glasses are half filled. Time in the scene will go on and the level of the wine in the glasses barely moves. It’s as though the actors wanted to play drunk on set, but they didn’t want to show the audience how their characters got drunk. In one scene my BFF Jeff Goldblum actually falls asleep with a glass of wine in his hands.* William Hurt takes the glass, but then he never sips it. He just holds it as he chats up Meg Tilly’s character.
I have considered the idea that the reason all the glasses are always half-full is to metaphorically connect to the film’s overall themes of life, death, and mid-life crises. However, there’s also an issue of “Wine Continuity” with actual bottles of wine. Towards the end of the film, Glenn Close and Kevin Kline meet in a pantry for a deep character moment, and behind them the wine rack is entirely filled. However, in the film, bottles of wine are opened. No one brings a new bottle of wine into the house in any scene that I can recall, so this is a huge “Wine Continuity” error. At least one bottle should be missing from the wine rack.
I remember Kevin Kline carrying this bottle of wine, but I don’t remember him opening it.
In conclusion, writer/director Lawrence Kasdan proves in The Big Chill that he has the ability to direct brilliant actors to wonderful performances, but he has no idea how to direct wine.
*My BFF Jeff Goldblum does sip the wine in order to down a qualude.