I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.
You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.
I don't want to talk about anything with you except Star Trek Into Darkness.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
ONLY I CAN TURN A COLUMN ABOUT CUTE GUYS INTO A DISCUSSION OF ANCIENT ROMAN GLADIATORS AND TRIDENTS!!!!
HAT FM. HAT FM. HAT FM. HAT FM.
In which I apologize to Dan for not listening to him years ago when I had the chance.
This is also Valentina’s fault.
And Peter Jackson’s.
Crush of the Week Returns! It’s THE DOCTOR.
(Also, I can’t believe I was able to keep the Jenna-Louise Coleman spoiler for an entire week. I am proud of my discretion.)
CRUSH OF THE WEEK: JEREMY RENNER’S BUTT
(I have never laughed more while writing something than I did while writing this. All maniacal laughter, of course.)
Sold out show last night! (Taken with Instagram)
I just want to brag for a quick sec about my camera-over-the-head photog skills because I think these came out pretty cute. Also, last night’s show was a lot of fun - rock on ladies.
Caitlin is a good photographer and great friend.
And yes, my hand is on my hip because I am modeling “H to T” as Tyra Banks taught me.
(Source: erinmallorylong)
“So, I was looking at photos of Ryan Lochte today…as one does.”
My friend nods because looking at photos of United States Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte is what everyone does. As far as I’m aware, this week “Ryan Lochte speedo pool” has replaced everyone’s usual go-to google image searches*.
“And,” I continue, “I noticed something exciting.”
“Ooo! What?”
I pause for dramatic flair and lean in, as though I’m revealing a great secret of the human condition. “Ryan Lochte is Finnick Odair.”
My friend squints, as though she’s trying to work out the arithmetic of real life person Ryan Lochte equaling Hunger Games trilogy hottie Finnick Odair, and three seconds later she gasps. “OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT! HE IS!”
Crush of the Week: Ryan Lochte (or Finnick Odair????) | HelloGiggles.com
NY READERS! GET YOUR TICKETS FOR ‘HELLO GIGGLES PRESENTS: THE FIRST DATE EDITION’
oh hey, come to the show
Spoilers: I’m technically not telling a “First Date” story. I’m telling a “First Hangout That I Thought Was A Date, But My Crush Didn’t Know It Was A Date” story.
Double Spoilers: It takes place at Oxford.
Triple Spoilers: You are going to reserve tickets to this show, come see it and be happy you did!
Crush of the Week: the Dudes of The Dark Knight Rises
Whatever. They’re all fucking hot.
I haven’t met too many Eagle Scouts in my life. Statistically speaking, you shouldn’t meet too many Eagle Scouts in your life. The title’s only bestowed upon the best the Boy Scouts of America has to offer. The first Eagle Scout I met was a pal of mine in college. He was exactly the kind of person you’d envision being an Eagle Scout. He fit the Scout Law to a tee; he was trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obiedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.
He was also gay.
Hello Giggles asked me to write another serious. This time on the Boy Scouts of America’s decision to reaffirm the ban on gay members.
Here’s my take on it and my pledge to start my own scout troop called the “Elephant Scouts of America”. We ban people who have never ridden an elephant because you can find any dumb reason to hate people.
