I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.
You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.
Life's weird, right?
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
I’m watching Bend It Like Beckham because it’s Saturday and raining and such.
The last time I watched this I realized that Jules is one of the worst female friends in female-friendship empowerment movie history.
She basically only becomes Jess’s friend because she needs Jess to make her and her team look good for scouts—which is fine! Girls working together. Cool! Then, she encourages Jess to betray and lie to her family. Oh, that’s cool—er, sort of! Then, she tells Jess that their coach is great, but like, whatever they’re just friends because you know, obviously, whatever. That’s fine and normal. And then Jules calls Jess a bitch because she gets drunk at Jules’s behest and almost kisses the coach. Oh…cool…speak up now about how you really feel. Jess tries to apologize because ovaries over broveries, but Jules gives her a lecture on how Jess betrayed her and doesn’t know the real meaning of love and get out because I have to listen to my Garbage CD. AHHHHH!
This is all sort of whatever—not great, but forgivable in the teen relationship skew of things.
You know what’s not? Um, the only reason Jules “forgives” Jess and seeks her out is because she finds out an American scout will be seeing her game and she (hahahahahahaha) needs Jess to show up to make her dreams come true. So, Jess should fuck her family and make Jess and Jules’s dreams come true (hahahahahahaha).
Girl power and stuff. Spice Girls. Yay!
(Keira Knightley does an amazing job conveying all this in a realistic and likable way. No fooling.)
