Meghan O'Keefe

I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.

You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.

I don't want to talk about anything with you except Star Trek Into Darkness.

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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor

 

Dear Owner, I hope you’re not too busy getting more ice cream in your bowl during commercial breaks for The Biggest Loser to read this. I would hate to think I was intruding upon your time. Basically, I noticed you have this fat, soft, colorful loaf sitting in a basket next to your couch. I smelled the loaf. It is not food. It is not alive, either. Hence it needed to have my smell on it. When nuzzled it I realized that it is an entire ball of string. Why were you holding out on me? You know I love string. Look, I don’t want to make this awkward. I don’t want to make this like whenever you play loud music and yalp into a hairbrush mimicking the music’s most human like noise. I just want to know if you are going to let me play with the string. Were you actually going to knot the string into something useful? Like a blanket or a sweater or a person to love you? If you are, you should stop spending your nights watching women trying on white dresses and get on it. If not, you should stop being so selfish and share your string with me. I just ask a little human decency. Sincerely, Misty the Kitten

Dear Owner,

I hope you’re not too busy getting more ice cream in your bowl during commercial breaks for The Biggest Loser to read this. I would hate to think I was intruding upon your time. Basically, I noticed you have this fat, soft, colorful loaf sitting in a basket next to your couch. I smelled the loaf. It is not food. It is not alive, either. Hence it needed to have my smell on it. When nuzzled it I realized that it is an entire ball of string. Why were you holding out on me? You know I love string. Look, I don’t want to make this awkward. I don’t want to make this like whenever you play loud music and yalp into a hairbrush mimicking the music’s most human like noise. I just want to know if you are going to let me play with the string. Were you actually going to knot the string into something useful? Like a blanket or a sweater or a person to love you? If you are, you should stop spending your nights watching women trying on white dresses and get on it. If not, you should stop being so selfish and share your string with me. I just ask a little human decency.

Sincerely,

Misty the Kitten

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