I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.

You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.

I don't want to talk about anything with you except Star Trek Into Darkness.

 

I suppose it’s classier this way.

I was actually looking forward to my High School Reunion.

I thought it would be fun.

I mean, my BFF and I had already agreed to go as Romy and Michele because that’s who we were in high school, so it was actually going to be fun.

Also, even though part of me was terrified that some simple bitches might give me simple shit for being single and childless and unmarried, I knew that I could easily shut them down with mentally reminding myself that all I wanted to do with my life when I was a high school senior was:

  • Attend and graduate an esteemed private university outside of Delaware
  • Live in the UK
  • Attend a London drama school
  • Perform Shakespeare on a stage
  • Have red hair
  • Settle down in New York
  • Own a sweet leather jacket
  • Be a person cool people like drinking with at parties
  • Become a comedian
  • Be a writer whose work strangers read and enjoy
  • And, of course, be married to a famous British actor

Since high school, I’ve somehow managed to accomplish all of those things except my marriage to a famous British actor, though I would argue that simply hasn’t happened yet.

So basically I would be able to go to my High School Reunion as a success. I would be the nerd girl who moved to the city and made her dreams come true, so fuck y’all who teased me for being awkward. “REVENGE IS MINE!” quoth me.

Except, they are planning to have my 10 Year High School Reunion in Delaware over the holidays since “that’s when everyone will be home visiting”, but since my mom lived her dream of moving to Idaho six years ago, I AM NOT GOING TO BE IN DELAWARE AT THE TIME OF MY 10 YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.

On the plus side, 17 year old me is impressed with my life, and I’ve spent the last decade of my life working really hard to accomplish those things I listed, and I should be really proud of myself.

BUT STILL. 

  1. danisdapper said: the most important thing is the free intrepid tour.
  2. meredithbklyn said: ditto to the max, with slight list variations
  3. megsokay posted this