Meghan O'Keefe

Future Conversations with my Daughter

Future Daughter: Whoa. Mom. I just saw this movie called She's All That on my iGlasses.

Me: You were supposed to be watching a documentary on heroines in the middle ages. We were supposed to be discussing Eleanor of Aquitaine right now. It's in my iSchedule.

Future Daughter: Whatever. So, before the Civilian Protection Act made it illegal for you to congregate in huge public groups, like schools or churches, um...was high school really like that?

Me: No. First of all, everyone in high school was a schlubby teenager. Not a beautiful 20-something actor.

Future Daughter: Oh. Okay. Did you ever go to Prom?

Me: I went to Junior Prom.

Future Daughter: Did you all have a big dance number to Slimboy Fat?

Me: To Fatboy Slim? No. We didn't have the organization or athletic co-ordination. We were real people.

Future Daughter: What about your Senior Prom?

Me: I skipped Senior Prom to see Star Wars in the movie theater.

Future Daughter: What's Star Wars?

Me: It's...It's...a really great sci-fi fantasy epic trilogy and then three other terrible prequels to that should never have been made. It's banned now. Because it preaches active resistance.

Future Daughter: Oh. The one thing I didn't get in She's All That...why does taking off her glasses suddenly make her prettier?

Me: No one knows, child. No one knows.