I live in New York. I am a comedian, writer and actor. My day job is blogging for VH1.com. I write about the silly things celebrities and pop stars do, so you know...God's work.
You may have seen my writing on many other reputable websites (McSweeney's, The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, xojane.com, The Hairpin, Splitsider, The FW, etc.). I also write crazy blogs about Game of Thrones, Magneto and Jeff Goldblum.
Life's weird, right?
Last night I had a weird dream where Kristen Stewart was my best friend.
We had decided to go on a hiking/camping trip at this fancy National Park. When we got there, it ended up that there were all these hidden fees. Like $40 to park and $100 per person to enter and $250 to stay the night. I was all, “Uh…okay…let’s go halfsies,” even though I couldn’t afford the hidden fees.
Then Kristen Stewart was like, “Oh, it’s cool. I got this.”
"Are you sure?"
"Are you really sure it’s fine?"
Then Kristen Stewart was all, “Look…I didn’t want to say this, but I’m kind of the highest-paid film actress in the world now. I got this.”
We laughed. I was like, “It’s so crazy they’re paying you so much money.”
Kristen Stewart cackled, “I know! Isn’t it?”
And then we went camping and were best friends forever and then I woke up.