Meghan O'Keefe

This is part three of a FAQ series of questions that I am unqualified to answer, but somehow still keep getting asked.

Oh, cool. You want to do stand up. First thing’s first: GOOD LUCK. Second thing: Bad Slava.

Bad Slava is considered the best online resource for open mics in NYC (and I guess, America?). I can’t really help you outside the major cities. If you live in a small town or rural college, google and keep a weather eye on the horizon for leads. Or, if you are in college and can’t find a campus mic…um…start one? All you need is a microphone in a room. Also, decide if it’s lottery (meaning people put their names in a bucket and it’s drawn at random) or first come, first serve (meaning people show up hours early to put their name and their friends’ names on a list). That’s all.

Third thing: The Creek and the Cave. 

If you’re a comedy nerd and you’ve read about places like Luna Lounge or Rififi being the place where all the weird, groundbreaking people of the alt scene intersected, know that both are gone (physically) and that the current nexus is a restaurant and bar in Long Island City, Queens called The Creek and the Cave. Also, they have FREE open mics and shows (stand up and improv) every night of the week. Also, MARGARITAS.

Fourth thing: Facebook friend everyone you can without looking like a freak. There are more mics than what are advertised on Bad Slava. Facebook is the most popular way of promoting new rooms and it’s also a professional networking tool that links the comedy community together. Besides, most comics just friend anyone who asks them anyway*. They don’t care. Just friend request them.

FIFTH THING: YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO BUY MORE THAN A DRINK TO DO AN OPEN MIC.

When I was new and dumb, I posted on this here blog that I didn’t mind paying because I felt stagetime was privilege. I was new and dumb. (NB: I am still new and dumb.)

Don’t pay. I mean, why pay when there are so many FREE MICS in the city? Even the idea of buying a drink is open to debate, but hey…I always feel that if I’m in a small room with a bunch of people trying to be funny for over an hour, I’m going to need a diet coke or gin and tonic anyways. I don’t mind supporting the hovel putting us up. “Supporting” is the operative word. A mic or show’s relationship with a venue should ideally be mutually supportive and not parasitic. 

Now, there is a hiccup to the “refusing to do cash mics”. It’s similar to my “refusing to bringer shows” line. You definitely close yourself off to potential stage time, and more importantly, comedy club connections. I say this because most comedy club mics do charge $5.00. I have avoided those. As such, I have next to no knowledge of the NYC comedy club world, and the NYC comedy club world has next to no knowledge about me. Choosing to do free mics pretty much seals your fate as an alt room comic**. Because my favorite comics all started in alt rooms, I really have no problem with that. That said, I am hoping to work in clubs because those rooms definitely work different muscles. I want the experience of it.

And to finally address the “I’m nervous and terrified” issue. Um…so am I. WE ALL ARE. You kind of have to find your inner Gryffindor if you want to do stand up comedy. If you’re more of a Ravenclaw, you can hang, but you’ll probably fare better just writing comedy. Hufflepuff? You will LOVE improv. Slytherin? Don’t even think about comedy, because fame and money and power are not going to happen, and if they do, you need to have either more guts, wits or charisma than ambition to make it happen. Actually, you would need all three and a ton of patience and perseverance. Just saying.

Here’s the thing…you’re going to suck. Think of your favorite comedian. You know, that untouchable guy or preternaturally perfect gal. You got them in your head. They spent years just sucking. Eating shit. Hell, most of them still eat shit sometimes. And even when they’re killing there are people in the room or watching on TV who hate them and wish they would shut up already. I’m not saying this to dissuade you. I’m saying it to inspire you. Sucking is part of the process. Fear is also part of it. Learning to be okay with failure (by constantly setting yourself up for it, experiencing it and ruminating on it) is the only way to find success.

So, ride the fear. Know that’s it part of it. Perseverance is also part of it. And again, GOOD LUCK.

*I DO NOT accept most friend requests from people I have never met, heard of or corresponded with. It’s just the way I keep it from being ridiculous. 

**Also…here’s a secret for ladies out there hoping to do stand up…there are more girls in alt rooms and the guys tend to be more respectful and less into “women suck” and “rape’s no big deal” jokes. That said, I went to one free mic last night, where a crazy dude had a knife, I was the only girl and two of the last three comics awkwardly tried to make rape jokes funny. (They didn’t.) I mean, shit still happens, but alt room dudes are stereotypically more into talking about Pac Man on stage than pussy. Just saying…

(p.s. If you’re the kind of person who says to me, “Wah…how can I make a mic in the Village? It’s so far from where I live in Greenpoint!!” GTFO of comedy. Harsh? Yeah, but if you think a subway ride is too onerous for you, you really should not be doing comedy. It doesn’t get better; it gets worse.)