November 2011
4 tags
Nov 30th
195 notes
4 tags
FAQ: I want to try stand up! (BTW I'M ALSO SOOO...
This is part three of a FAQ series of questions that I am unqualified to answer, but somehow still keep getting asked. Oh, cool. You want to do stand up. First thing’s first: GOOD LUCK. Second thing: Bad Slava. Bad Slava is considered the best online resource for open mics in NYC (and I guess, America?). I can’t really help you outside the major cities. If you live in a small town...
Nov 30th
15 notes
3 tags
CENTER STAGE SCREENCAPS →
I’m not posting screencaps for them anymore; I’m posting screencaps for me.
Nov 30th
4 notes
4 tags
Baby Jesus Take The Wheel
Between the day before Thanksgiving and the day after New Years Day, my entire diet strategy changes. It goes from “everything in healthy moderation” to “Jesus take the wheel!” The problem with this change in strategy is that this is the time of year when Jesus is Baby Jesus. Babies can’t drive. Babies can’t see over steering wheels. Baby Jesus is going to...
Nov 30th
20 notes
4 tags
“I didn’t work very much on Drive, I just came into work and stared at Ryan...”
– Carey Mulligan speaks numerous truths here.
Nov 29th
36 notes
2 tags
Nov 29th
11 notes
I got chicken soup on my beautiful new ivory...
Seltzer didn’t do much. Cold water might? It’s a cotton J Crew t-shirt that I got at outlet shopping on Black Friday. Stupid Healthy Choice soup can that doesn’t open right… EDIT: THANK YOU OTHER WHITE GIRLS WHO KNOW BETTER HOW TO DEAL WITH WHITE GIRL PROBLEMS. I WILL SHOUT IT OUT WHEN I GET HOME. Until then:
Nov 29th
8 notes
1 tag
I think we're filming my first sketch for PITtv on...
EDIT: Now it’s Sunday.
Nov 29th
8 notes
1 tag
"Everytime I log onto the web now there are all...
My mom doesn’t understand personal ads as spam, you guys, and I don’t know if I have the heart to explain it to her.
Nov 29th
13 notes
I have nothing to say today.
Nov 28th
10 notes
3 tags
Missing the point, party of one.
If you want to know how I use the “Missing the point, party of one” theorem in day-to-day life…here’s a good example… I drunkenly tweet (Hey! I’m having a Me Party, remember?) about “Love Actually Mysteries”. One is “Why aren’t any of the storylines about gay people? Or Muslim people? Or Asians? Those kinds of people live in...
Nov 27th
10 notes
Nov 27th
14 notes
From now on, instead of stressing out over comments on my posts or articles from people who clearly misinterpreted my meaning or did not read the entire post before commenting, I will just flamboyantly cackle in my head, “Missing the point, party of one!” So far it’s helped me calm down and not start long internet debates over nothing. And one day, I hope to use it as a retort...
Nov 26th
9 notes
3 tags
It's Rebecca Black Friday! | The FW →
I’ve been working for a while on some Internet Meme articles for thefw.com. This is the first to roll out. Hopefully more soon! 
Nov 26th
2 notes
Nov 24th
50 notes
Nov 23rd
14 notes
2 tags
Good news! It's genetic!
My weirdness is genetic. My 17 year old nephew was cast as Mr. Whiteside in his high school’s production of The Man Who Came To Dinner. Also, he does improv. And his TV is permanently paused on his game of Skyrim. And he owns fur lined boat shoes! GENETIC WEIRDNESS! (and yes, I am going to force him to listen to Rob Riggle’s WTF interview before he ships off to the Citadel next...
Nov 23rd
10 notes
Nov 22nd
2 notes
4 tags
Nov 22nd
26 notes
3 tags
Something's happening
I’ve entered the stage in my career where I can’t blog about the cool stuff that’s happening in my career. But something really fun is happening.
Nov 22nd
17 notes
4 tags
Nov 22nd
6 notes
4 tags
Sliding Doors: Portland
When I was six, my parents informed me that we would be moving to Portland, Oregon. Dad was getting promoted to a cushy, white collar position. They’d be able to buy a really nice house. My sisters—who are all 17-14 years older than me—would be staying on the East Coast for school, so it was a given that in the golden years of my parents life, I would be given ALL OF THE LOVE,...
Nov 22nd
14 notes
3 tags
Nov 21st
2 notes
6 tags
Nov 21st
53 notes
2 tags
Nov 21st
20 notes
5 tags
A Happy Little Weirdo
A friend of mine asked me to compete in this stand up competition he was hosting over the weekend. It was a really interesting experience because I didn’t get through, but I didn’t walk away feeling like a failure. In the past, if I had a shitty set or if I felt like everyone in the room didn’t think I was funny, I would feel like I had failed. This time around, I knew I had a...
Nov 21st
10 notes
3 tags
Nov 21st
7 notes
Nov 19th
1 note
Nov 19th
38 notes
4 tags
Nov 19th
19 notes
4 tags
Nov 18th
6 notes
Nov 18th
6 notes
4 tags
Nov 18th
945 notes
“And women should stop telling fairy tales to their daughters about how women...”
– Check out my version of Snow White
Nov 18th
17 notes
4 tags
Nov 18th
64 notes
3 tags
Nov 17th
7 notes
3 tags
I just made a PITtv House Team
It means I am going to be finally producing/performing/writing/filming sketch comedy that people will see. (I’m also halfway through a new Hello Giggles piece that I LOVE and will finish today.)
Nov 17th
11 notes
2 tags
What am I doing?
I currently have three different articles partly written for Hello Giggles this week and I hate all of them. I’m so uninspired. It’s not that any of them are particularly bad ideas, they’re just so…done. 
Nov 17th
2 notes
1 tag
Nov 16th
9 notes
4 tags
Nov 16th
11 notes
5 tags
FAQ: I want to move to NYC to do improv. Where...
This is part two of an inadvertent series. The more you answer questions, the more people ask them. I will create a tab on my page to link to all of these soon enough. Oh my God, how the hell am I supposed to know what improv school is best for you? I don’t even know what improv school is best for me. Basically, check them all out and GO WITH YOUR GUT. Don’t go where your idols...
Nov 16th
17 notes
3 tags
Nov 16th
15 notes
6 tags
Nov 16th
16 notes
2 tags
Nov 16th
113,181 notes
Goddamnit, I really fucking hate when people jump...
lizdexia: I could write a full-length play about the stuff that happened tonight. I should. And one of the characters would be an egg-shaped woman in a long black floral skirt, an oatmeal-colored turtleneck, and Vibram Five-Fingers on her weirdly stubby, tiny feet who simply did not understand that NO ONE was moving and EVERYONE was stuck there. I’m thinking Melissa McCarthy for that role. But...
Nov 16th
10 notes
4 tags
Nov 15th
24 notes
2 tags
lafiebre asked: What would your reaction be if The Ryan got to read your "Dear Ryan Gosling" piece and had something to say about it?
Nov 15th
5 notes
3 tags
FAQ: How did you get your writing on [such and...
This is the first FAQ I’m doing, but I wager it won’t be the last. Enjoy. Or scroll on. Okay, I get a bunch of messages via email, tumblr and through personal Facebook messaging about my writing, and when I say I get questions about my writing, what I mean is I get questions about how I got published on a certain site and how much dough I’m raking in. No one ever wants to...
Nov 15th
45 notes
6 tags
Talking to Molly McNearney, the co-head writer of... →
Molly McNearney is pretty effing awesome, guys. She quit her advertising job to get a producer’s assistant job at Jimmy Kimmel Live and then worked her way up to the co-head writer position. She wrote Josh Groban sings Kanye West tweets. Oh, and she was nice enough to talk to me about what it’s like working in late night. Whatever.
Nov 15th
10 notes
4 tags
Nov 15th
12 notes