June 2010
“Incredible but True: One punishment for an adulterous gnome wife in medieval...”
– WHAT?!?
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This is the only way I can figure out how to reply...
jellabyjones said: WHAT? YOU GOT TO TALK TO DONALD GLOVER?! He’s up there for me with bill hader. that’s not true. bill hader is still amazing, but I like donald glover a lot.
Um, yeah…I got to briefly talk to him after the show. Lately, I’ve been finding I need to use the bathroom after the show and I always get stuck on the end of the ladies room line. Sucks for my bladder, but it...
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Another Monday, Another Whiplash
I think Whiplash is becoming my weekly ritual in NYC. It was awesome as usual last night. I finally got to see Hannibal Burress do stand up. I’ve seen some grainy clips online, but they don’t do him justice at all. His delivery was phenomenal. Truly amazing. In the ladies room line after the show, girls were still laughing about his Ramen Noodle joke. I had mixed feelings about...
“Chuckling to herself, Nancy said aloud, “Romance and detective work won’t mix...”
– The Bungalow Mystery, Carolyn Keene (via fuckyeahliteraryquotes)
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You know you have the best office job in the world...
…your “difficult” boss gives you the task of googling reviews of J. Crew stores and your “awesome” boss gives you the nickname, “the next Tina Fey”.
I’m going to miss this job when I have to eventually quit it to be a starving artist. *sigh*
The A.V. Club talks to Janeane Garofalo →
I don’t know if it’s heartening or disheartening to know that someone who has been doing stand up as long as I’ve been alive is still scared shitless to do it.
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I think I was touched by a comedy angel this...
I woke up 15 minutes early with a single thought in my head: You are going to fail your UCB Sketch 101 class. How? By not seeing TWO sketch shows at the UCB. I’ve seen one, but put off the other. And this morning it hit me that if I did not find a way to see a show tonight, I was not going to be able to by next Thursday. I even had a premonition of my teacher starting to use me as his...
“Why is Mick Jagger super psyched about the USA v. Ghana game? Like...”
I am the master multi-tasker!
Things I’ve done today:
Slept in
Gone on a run
Watched part of an ANTM marathon
Watched the World Cup
Written a new stand up joke
Finished a sketch for my Magnet Class tomorrow
Which means I can also check out the open mic at the Woodshed today, and then see where the night takes me—maybe to the PIT to see The Summit, maybe more stand up, maybe a night out with friends, or maybe...
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“Steinem is the old, frumpy, frigid, fractious feminist. Sarah Palin is the new,...”
– -A commenter on CBSNews.com
Gloria Steinem was a playboy bunny and is married to Christian Bale’s dad. Your point is invalid.
But seriously, do you think Sarah Palin would have even been able to run as a Vice Presidential candidate if women like Steinem hadn’t come first? Without...
Only two of iTunes's top 100 comedy albums belong...
#86 - Kathleen Madigan & #95 - Kathy Griffith
Unless I missed somebody…
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"I'm exhausticated."
Three different opportunities have recently presented themselves to me.
One is just a continuation of Apiary stuff. I finally heard back on all of my pitches from last week. Turns out they didn’t suck, so I get to develop them all. Which would be great, but I now have work to do at work…that I am currently procrastinating upon…
Two is I found out yesterday that I made the...
There's an irony here. I can feel it.
I just had to call a hotel in Dublin to track down a receipt. It was very odd introducing myself with my super Irish name in my super American accent to a woman in Ireland who sounded like she was from Eastern Europe.
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tonight, tonight....
Awesome night in Brooklyn, at the Chris Gethard Show and stuck on the mbta!!! woot!
Holy Pandorica! Why am I one of the few Americans I know who downloads the UK episodes of Doctor Who? Must talk about this with someone.
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He's not Chuck Bass, you guys...
Last night I got into a bizarre debate with the men in my sketch class about Dutch playboy and literal lady killer, Joran van der Sloot. I tried to explain how I found the ‘playboy’ moniker and his ability to get all these girls ridiculous because I don’t think he’s good looking. The guys in my class all vehemently disagreed. They were saying how handsome he is, how rich,...
Next time I whine about wanting to lose weight,... →
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Mmm...
gifparty:
I’m starting to see the appeal of this mumbly mouthed Brando kid.
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Better than a post-it...
I need to make a list of all the shows I’ve reserved seats for at the UCB so I don’t forget:
Chris Gethard Show - Saturday, midnight - (I have 2 tickets, both presently taken)
Big Lake Screening - next Monday, 11pm - (I have 2 tickets, one available)
Whiplash - Monday after next, 11pm - (I have 2 tickets, one available)
I also need to remember the July 1 screening of Penelope:...
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In case you were wondering...
gifparty:
I did stand up again last night and I think it went well! People really like it when you say “QUEEF!” on stage.
And yes, I am reblogging this from the original source because I can’t figure out how to post a saved gif without it freezing.
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Lizdexia: So I just sent an e-mail to The Apiary... →
nbloggz:
…
oh dear god, LMFAO.
(maybe ~sheding some light~ will result in nbc being all like “omg these nerds are great, let’s give them all tickets!”)
The word “underbelly” seems pretty negative, idk.
Yeah, I’m kinda iffy on it too. I think this could either be really interesting or just…
Hey guys…so I’ve submitted quite a few things to The Apiary in the last month...
“Yeah, you were awesome!” “Thank you.” “Yeah, I’ve...”
– —Me, at 1:10am, outside the UCB theater talking to Simon Amstell.
So…I believe I’m falling into a holding pattern where at least once a week I get the opportunity to embarrass myself in front of someone in comedy I admire. Sometimes I resist the urge to make myself look foolish;...
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“Everybody wants to be Dan Aykroyd.”
– Willtron 3000, Epic, yet mildly sarcastic, Quotes of the Weekend
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I have to write a parody/satire sketch for my UCB...
The question my friends is this…
Do I:
(a) Write the sketch I pitched last week: The Real Housewives of the Republican Party
or
(b) Write a sketch called “Get Him to the G.R.E.” #ticketstubmovietitles
Decisions…decisions…
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truth in comedy
I just wrote Lindsay Lohan’s letter to her judge in defense of this weekend’s SCRAM incident. I was going to submit it to theapiary, but I fear it is too on the point to even be funny.
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Not quite ready for late night...
Wasting time at work by practicing late night monologue jokes…examples:
“Thirteen year old Kayla Manson used the ‘c-word’ twice on the Today show this morning. Kids these days might be juvenile delinquents, but at least we know they’re acing their vocabulary tests.”
“Over in Afghanistan, General Stanley McCrystal acknowledged that withdrawl from the...
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“Katy Perry attacked Lady Gaga’s new music video yesterday by tweeting,...”
– Okay, so my Magnet class finally got really interesting. The next assignment is to bring three Late Night monologue/Weekend Update like jokes to class, as well as pitch a desk piece (like Top Ten, Headlines or In the Year 2000). The suggestion regarding the monologue jokes was to write 20 and pick...
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First NYC Open Mic
After improv class, I did “stand up”* at the PIT’s open mic with some friends. It wasn’t good, but I feel good about it. I immediately learned so much and understand now how much more I need to prepare (which will take time) and how much more I need to develop comfort on stage (which will also take time). But I did it. That was probably the biggest hurdle.
The best part...
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Whiplash at UCB (June 7, 2010 show)
Okay, so I think Whiplash might be the best show I’ve seen in NYC so far. The energy is amazing. The talent always second to none. Oh, yes, and it’s free.
Last night’s show saw Anthony Jeselnick try out jokes about abortions and suicides (you know, his thing). I loved how he took in each joke’s response and made a joke out of check-marking his notes. Then Seth Herzog...
“So happy to share with you that my man Souleye and I got married.”
– Bet you never would have guessed Alanis Morissette said that, but she did. 